


Not All Things

by BairnSidhe



Series: That kid from Brooklyn [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Gen, tie-in to another series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:10:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2003337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BairnSidhe/pseuds/BairnSidhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She can honestly say she told Steve the truth about the man with the metal arm, but she may not have told all of the truth.</p><p>She certainly didn't tell him about her first love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not All Things

**Author's Note:**

> This is a tie-in to the sequel to Secret Bit of Right From Wrong, to clear up a canon inconsistency. You don't need to read the other works in the Kid from Brooklyn series for this.
> 
>  
> 
> (Basically, the SBoRFW canon has WS/BW, but the movie did not. This is how I fixed it.)

When Steve described Nick Fury’s assassin as they watched him die on an operating table, she knew who he was, and her heart tried to stop.  Her past, the ghost she had tried to forget, had finally come back into her life and her heart did it’s best to just die.  But it would take more than that to kill the Black Widow.  She kept calm and tried not to soften, because if she let it, this haunting would break her.

Steve hid something in a vending machine on his way out.  It was a pretty nifty dead drop, all told, but she had been trained by the best, by Red Room.  She spent nearly ten bucks on gum getting the drive back, but if Steve thought it was worth hiding then it was worth the expense.  Plus, she wanted to know what was on it.  One of the things that made Natasha such a good spy was that secrets made her itch.  She had to uncover them, make them hers.  She waited for Steve out of friendship, and because it was his drive, he had a right to those secrets too.

With her back pinned to a wall, Natasha knew the only thing that would get Steve’s trust back was honesty.  She did know something he would want to know; a secret that could buy his faith in her back from whatever had turned him cold and untrusting.  But it would be too painful to tell him of Yasha, to expose the secret love affair with her trainer.  To tell him of the man she would have died for, who left her without a word one rainy autumn day.  So she told him a thing that hurt just as bad, but not why it did.  She told him of a mission, long after she had left Russia behind, or so she thought. 

She told him of the man with the metal arm and killer’s eyes who shot though her to get to his target.  But she left out that it was Yasha, _her_ Yasha, with no recognition in his ice-blue killer’s eyes for her.  She didn’t tell him that she had called to him and he had looked at her with heart-breaking confusion and asked her who Yasha was.  She left out the heartbreak and the sorrow at how completely he had lost himself.  She told him the man he sought was a ghost, but not that he was also one of her ghosts.  That tragedy was private, personal.  In all her life since Yasha hadn’t shown up to a rendezvous, she had only told one man of her private pain.  And though Clint had done wonders in helping her cope with it, she didn’t have nearly the same relationship with Steve.

Steve would never understand.

**Author's Note:**

> I have an evil thing for irony.
> 
> (PS, Yasha is Russian for James)
> 
> You can find me here: bairnsidhe.tumblr.com


End file.
